The Police had to be called late last night to a domestic disturbance at the Obama residence in the quiet Tracy Place neighborhood of DC. When they arrived, they found Barack Obama being restrained from attacking a young man in his 20s who may be dating his daughter. Press was quickly rejected from the scene but LLOD’s own Skip Tetheluda managed to get in close enough to hear what was being said:

“President Obama was on fire. He was nothing more or less than a protective dad looking out for his daughter. Sasha brought home a straight-up gangsta from the hood behind the White House and sources say he was disrespectful to everyone in the Obama family, which Barack let go, until he disrespected his wife.

As I approached I could still hear him yelling, ‘Say it again, nigga. I will end you. I’ll have my guys put you in a hole so deep you’ll wish they had killed you. What up now, nigga? You got somthin to say?’ The young man was smiling at Obama, taunting him, until the Secret Service finally removed him from the scene at the request of Michelle Obama.”

No charges were filed over the incident as nobody actually threw a punch, but Trey Gowdy has vowed to investigate the threats made and racial slurs used. His office released a statement calling the public display “despicable.”