When you see pictures of the Oval Office, you can’t help but notice the glorious Resolute Desk. Made famous by a Nicholas Cage movie, the desk is said to have several hidden compartments that only presidents know about. One of those compartments was found by a cleaning woman who has been cleaning the desk for 30 years.

Anita Terdunkalstein told Crossroads Correspondent Louis LeWeigh that she always gets a short list of spots not to touch she said Trump gave her no such instructions:

“I’ve seen three compartments, so I know they are there, but they are not in use — at least not now. This compartment I stumbled on after not cleaning a spot for the first time since 1999 then pushing something sideways. I couldn’t believe what I found. Normally my lips would be sealed, but this is too perfect.”

Anita’s discovery was a cigar wrapped in a blue silk handkerchief with a lipstick kiss in the center. The cigar, which appears to be Cuban, looks like it was smoked several times before being lost to history, somewhere just above halfway intact. One can only assume that we all know where that cigar was and what it had seen…before it was…smoked.

Godless heathens.

The White House staff is currently in a pickle about what to do with the…item. It is, after all a historical relic at this point that should probably go…somewhere. Trump made the joke that if someone doesn’t claim it soon he’s gonna finish smoking it. Ya have to love our President’s ability to still have some good old-fashioned locker room fun every so often.

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